“Transgender Issues in Society” was given by Colle Carpenter, 29, who is a female-to-male transgender, though he said he hates the term.
“‘Trans’ is always a safe bet,” said Carpenter. “I tend to use politically (incorrect) labels on purpose, but you probably shouldn’t use those to people you don’t know. I identify as a ‘trannie;’ I don’t mind the term, but a lot of trans people do.”
Carpenter was born in Southern California and grew up in Idaho. He moved back to Orange County just before high school with his dad and stepmom.
In his sophomore year he started coming out to his friends as a lesbian, but was worried about his family’s reaction, so he did not tell them. He said his dad was his main concern.
After facing problems at school, Carpenter eventually dropped out.
“When I was in school there was no Gay/Straight Alliance, there were no support groups for that environment,” Carpenter said.
Carpenter eventually moved out, and within four days came out to his entire family.
“My family was really supportive,” said Carpenter, “My dad was great. He really wanted to be supportive of me. I don’t think he got it. I don’t think he gets it now, but he knew I was happy, and that’s what he wanted.”
Carpenter continued to identify as a lesbian for a while, but slowly realized that wasn’t quite right, coming to the conclusion that he was male in a female body.
“I spent the next year trying not to be trans, hoping it would go away,” Carpenter said. “Over that year I became gradually more self-destructive. When you literally hate yourself it’s hard to care about anyone else.”
Since deciding to make the change, undergoing breast reduction surgery and hormone procedures, Carpenter said his outlook improved and he accepted who he was. It took a while for him to look in the mirror and see someone he thought was himself, but now he said he does.
Andi Aguilar, 23, Alpha Kappa Delta president, said getting in contact with Carpenter came through one of the Women and Gender Studies professors on campus.
“One of our club members was in her (the professor’s) class, and she would constantly talk about Colle,” said Aguilar. “(He) was a speaker at last year’s Sociology Week, so we thought (Carpenter) would be a great fit as a speaker this year.”
Carpenter currently lives with his wife Kelly, who identifies as a lesbian, and their 9-year-old son Dom. Carpenter said his family is one of the primary motivators in his life, and that joining Kelly and Dom, who was 5 years old when Colle entered the picture, is one of the best things that has ever happened to him.
Carpenter said Dom doesn’t have any issues with his parents’ lifestyle or past.
“Kids don’t care,” Carpenter said, “On the day I sat down and talked with him about it, he just said, ‘Alright. Can we play with Legos now?’”
Carpenter does not give out his current teaching location or residence since he was once assaulted on a CSU campus. Someone attacked him and carved the word “It” into his chest. The attacker was never caught.
That event was the one that scarred Dom the most, as well as Carpenter, and it took over a year to fully get over the post-traumatic stress. Now he has a tattoo where the scar used to be, covering the reminder of the experience.
Carpenter tours the country giving similar lectures at other universities — a view into the life of a transgender. He said that the common stereotype of people who are transgender, that they’re sex workers or drug addicts, is something he wants to fight.
“I’m the president of (the) PTA at Dom’s school,” Carpenter said. “It doesn’t get much more boring than that.”
Edward Calderon, 22, a graduate student, came to the event to expand his horizons.
“I wanted to hear first hand from an individual who lives (as a transgender) on a daily basis and provides some more information,” said Calderon.
In the end, Carpenter said he believes this many-layered topic boils down to a central issue.
“We could spend the next week … 10 hours a day and barely even scratch the surface. In the end, we just need to treat people like people,” Carpenter said.
